Whale in the mirrors...

So after several months of tennis training once per week, last night I went back to the gym to start to increase my exercise in the lead up to the hefty 12 week program I am about to embark upon.

I thought Yoga would be a good way to start out, nice and gentle and achievable.  Ha...I must have a delusional memory. It was h a r d! Hard in the sense that I felt like a plank of wood trying to be a pretzel. So stiff!! My muscle were quivering with the strain as I internally begged myself not to sink to my knees as the 5th minute of 'downward facing dog' clicked by... The usually soothing tone of the instructors voice became a source of rage as I wondered again and again how much long I could hold out... Needless to say, the ten minute meditation did finally arrive and then it was over, my inner goddess sticking her head out and looking somewhat pleased with herself! I did feel good for having gone in the first place and managing to stick it out, however...

The downside to this entire activity was the mirrors...Mirrors, mirrors every-freakin'-where! What is more, as I entered the gym yesterday, I was walking with a woman who I thought was probably only a little bit smaller than me. This was not the case.

While twisting and convulsing into the various poses during the class, I became very aware that I was humongous! I usually try to avoid having to look straight into the mirror, but I was a little bit late and tragically ended up front and centre and was forced to endure an hour of looking at my hideous, large physique, incompetently manoeuvring at the instruction of the trainer, back lit by an endless sea of trim size 8 women and one older, slightly pervy (but still trim) man. It is so much worse than I thought! And that woman I entered the gym with who I had thought was 'only a little bit smaller' than me...well...what can I say...If by 'smaller' I meant 'minisule' and by a 'little bit' I meant 'tineey, wineey fraction', then sure, she was a little bit smaller than me. How delusional I have been. Need to find an extra large potato sack to wear next time. Would sure be less distracting!

So, onwards and upwards....note(s) to self:

1. Never be late to class at the gym.
2. Always maintain a position of furthest-to-the-back of the room.
3. Try to find a way to swallow down humiliation and shame.
4. Find some kind of float top of substantial length for yoga classes.
5. Purchase Spanks for deluding oneself and others during gym classes.